Why Are You a Christian?

 

I got this question today.  Why are you a Christian?  For me, this is a rather complex question, and I believe that it may be just as difficult for most Christians.  The easiest answer for me to give is that I have been a Christian since before the Foundations of the World.  As true as this last statement is TO ME, as EASY as it is for me to see it, feel it, sense it, say it, it is rather difficult to explain it.  (This post is NOT a Ramble; this post is taking some HEAVY Taffy Pulling.)

When, where, how, under what circumstances was the question asked of me?  That is as important as the audience/questioner.  The questioner had just learned of my struggle with co-consciousness DID.  {Which seems to be 99% over.  I do not have a dark cloud of witness(es) hanging over me, invading my thoughts, tainting my actions.  It isn’t any more disturbing–that which I find in me which is less than PURPLE–than having to clean the cat litter box or driving behind people who, unlike back where I came from, insist upon driving 15mph UNDER the speed limit everywhere they go (and, apparently, NOT USING CRUISE CONTROL).  I don’t throw fits or fists, and I don’t throw my iPhones–anymore.  (Going through 7 of those before your upgrade date will cure anyone of that.)  It’s just a thing.  Like a paper cut.  Okay, it isn’t quite that bad.}

But why am I a Christian?  I don’t know.  GOD came to me and revealed HIMSELF to me.

I was an agnostic since I was 8 years old, I remember the day, I remember the person with whom I was speaking when I said, “I’m not going to believe in anything that the world says; I have to prove EVERYTHING to myself.  I don’t believe in GOD any longer.  HE has never done a stinking thing for me even if HE does exist.”

or so I thought

So I continued to do things MY way, always seeking TRUTH, listening and reading things that other people told me I should not.  “You’re too young to understand that.”  Yeah, stfu, lady, and give me my book back!  If I don’t understand it, I can see pretty pictures in the spaces between the words.  Leave me alone or I’ll bark at you.  Librarians do not like to be barked at by 8 year old know-it-all snots.

Seeking

Seeking

Seeking

“Why do you sit out here at lunch, all by yourself, and read Kant or Nietzsche or Star Trek or the Wall Street Journal?  None of this is for school work.”  Frankly, you’re welcome to sit next to me.  You have never thought a thought that interests me, but you’re welcome to the seat.  No, she’d rather not.  That’s okay.  I’m not missing out on anything by her absence–SHE IS.

They hated me, and I pitied them.  Okay, my pity could cross the line, from time to time, and be considered hatred.  But I was too arrogant to know the difference, back then.  They gave bitterness, but I gave it back, albeit in a different fashion.  Two sides of the same bitter coin.  (Kinda like the repugnantcon and demoncrap parties:  two sides of the same soiled sheet of toilet paper.  And the libertarian party is the hole in that toilet paper, and your soiled finger.  They all suck $hit.  But that’s enough politics.)

Bumbling, stumbling, seeking, listening, asking, learning, trying, failing, trying again, trying more, trying harder, failing, failing, failing.  Failing to find peace.  Failing to find healing from my existential wounds.  Listening, talking, debating, reading.

By 31 years old, I knew everything.  I was solidly RIGHT WING, solidly agnostic, and solidly HOMOSEXUAL.  But I wasn’t all that bitter, like most of the homosexuals that I knew.  Not, at least, toward other people and their ideas.  (Well, I was rather bitter toward the progressive politics of perversion, the festering, beach-ball sized, hypocrisy-filled hemorrhoid that progressivism is.  Blind, idiot followers of the demoncrap party, because they thought that they were gay and, well, gays just vote for demoncraps, I might get a little bitter in conversations with these people.  Politics, again.  I promise I’ll stop.  Soon.)

But, one-by-one, several dozen people with whom I worked began turning to GOD.  I found it fascinating, and I talked with these people A LOT!  They were quite gentle and kind and intelligent and articulate and patient and tolerant.  I was quite open about my homosexuality AND my agnosticism.  And they didn’t care about either.  They treated me like an equal.  Not the homosexuals–they hated me because I was a right-winger, and because I was as kind to Christians as they could only manage to be toward another bitter, progressive homosexual.

The left still calls this tolerance–celebrating perversity and denigrating anyone who doesn’t celebrate your particular perversity with as much BITTER vigor as they do.  Hypocrisy.  The modern American left, which it is a shame that they have stolen and soiled an honored tradition, stolen and soiled the words, stolen and soiled HISTORY….  I know I said I’d stop, but I can’t seem to help myselves.  Give me a Danial Patrick Moynihan, a Cynthia McKinney, a Thomas Jefferson, a Dennis Kucinich, now THESE people are worthy of the honor of being called Liberals.  There aren’t many left.  And the right only has Rand Paul and Justin Amash, for the most part.  And all libertarians are either anarchists or sold out cuckoo birds.  Like Bernie Sanders.  He’d have been great if he was the person that he tried to present himself to be.  But, like the Trumpeteer, he’s a liar and a sellout.

So I guess I got all the politics out of the way.

Back to my constant contact with all these FILTHY, HATE-FILLED, MEAN, OPPRESSIVE, BACKWARD, HYPOCRITICAL, EVIL XIANS, who only wanted to MURDER me because all of them, ALL OF THEM secretly desired to live like I did, diddling around with other people of the same sex, (or whatever else).  The homosexuals were wrong about these people.  They projected their own bitterness upon these people, and saw in these Christians the very things that they saw–and HATED–in themselves.  I found the Christians to be quite loving and, well really, the most human people that I had ever met.

And I’d go home every night to revel in a live, call-in, Christian talk show.  I was quite fond of this particular gentleman because he was a studious intellectual, and he was quite kind.  Oh, and he was rather “conservative” as well.  Oft times, homosexuals would call in just to try to get out a string of vile curse words before he could cut the audio feed–apparently the 15 second delay thing had not yet been incorporated into his studio.  THIS really annoyed me because, I believed at the time, these bitter homosexuals were making it difficult for those of us who weren’t quite so bitter.  But I was fooling myself.

Nearly all homosexuals are rather bitter.  Including the one who was about to pick up the phone and call the talk show and tell the man that I was gay, I was NOT Christian, I was NOT bitter, and I was at least as “conservative” as the host was.  I sat to gather my thoughts.  I was smarter than this man, and I knew it.  I was smarter than he was because I could see around that FALSE ideology of GOD-ness.  I stood to reach for the phone.  I was smart enough to walk this host from his ancient myt–

BAM!

I’m on the floor

GOD revealed HIMSELF to me, letting me know that HE was real

that I was wrong

that I wasn’t quite as smart as I thought I was

or quite as kind as I thought I was

and that I didn’t need to be chained by the unfulfilling world of sodomy

I was freed

O! GLORIOUS DAY!

never having sought HIM

seeking, indeed, to tear apart one of HIS servants

seeking to justify myself, prove myself

seeking

seeking

seeking

HE is a REWARDER of them who diligently seek HIM.  Seek the TRUTH, and you WILL end up at the CROSS!

So, why am I a Christian?

My response should always be, “Why do you ask?”

I told the questioner, “Peace, love, joy, healing, oh, and Salvation.”

We both chuckled.  Salvation.  This is what Christianity is supposed to offer.  I slipped it in there last.  Frankly, although I believe that Christianity is the only Spiritual Relationship that offers Salvation

and I’m rather fond of the idea of Salvation

grateful for it, indeed

I wasn’t looking for that.

I sought TRUTH; I sought ANSWERS; I sought peace, meaning, fulfillment.

And I got all that.

With Salvation thrown in for free

Well, it was FREE for ME

But it cost my SAVIOUR a great deal

Why am I a Christian?  Because HE sought ME in the deepest, darkest, filthiest, bitterest, most unfulfilling pit

HE met ME in that pit

HE lifted me out of that pit

and I hadn’t even spoken HIS NAME in more than two decades, had myself convinced that HE didn’t even exist.

In JESUS’ NAME

Amen

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